Ali and Patrick

Ali and Patrick

 Married: November 27,1992

We were introduced to Ali and Patrick by Toni and Lisa (see 9/24 post).  Over the years through that connection we have become friends.  As a vet, Ali introduced us to our beloved dog Ruby and in his capacity as a lawyer, Patrick helped us navigate a tricky situation.  We have decorated Easter Eggs, gathered amid a menagerie of pets to watch election returns in their home, and celebrated birthdays.  They and their two young children were among the family and friends who gathered to surprise me on my 50th birthday (a highlight of which, was having those two kids sing "Happy Birthday" to me in Chinese).  

Ali and Patrick are typical of a lot of young families today in that they are completely progressive in their social lives, but very conscious of the values of tradition and family.  While they each adopted the other's last name, joined and hyphenated, in a thoroughly modern way, they expect their children to refer respectfully to adults as 'aunty' and 'uncle' in the traditional Chinese manner (Ali's mother is from China).  

It has been a delight to watch their two children, Quinn and Elliot, grow up.  Both, in their own distinctive ways, are intelligent, sensitive and thoughtful children.  Ali's facebook posts of car conversations with the kids truly knock me out, these children are always thinking about and observing their world. They are growing up with the knowledge that Aunty Toni and Aunty Lisa are married, they are a couple, and it makes no difference to them.  As they get older they are more aware of the controversy surrounding the concept, but personally, they only care that Lisa and Toni are people who love and care for them.  

With all the pressures on families these days, the last one people should be worried about is the impact same sex marriage will have on the children....from personal experience and observation I know this is a non-issue...all kids care about is that there are adults in their lives who genuinely love and nurture them, who cares what gender they are, when they have a cool fish in the fish tank (Lisa) and like to dance (Toni)?  Kids will only have a problem with same sex marriage if their parents do.