On the eve of the vote: the final Lovebirds
Angela and Jason, Ian and Ada
Angela and Jason wanted to make this a family portrait because they want their children to grow up knowing that gender shouldn't be a reason why people can't marry.
I love this little family and I love these kids. So much has been made about the potential affects of this vote on the children, but I think people underestimate kids. Not much gets past Ada, she is sharp and pretty tenacious, I have a feeling she won't suffer fools...I like to think she is the smartest kid I know, but it seems I know quite a few really smart and thoughtful children...kids are curious, they want to know about the world, and answering their questions succinctly and honestly is generally the best plan. Kids can tell when grownups lie or are evasive. If kids respond with anxiety, it is probably not because of the information in and of itself, it is because they know they are being lied to, and don't know why, and by someone they trust.
I'd really love to see this book everyone has so much fear about, the one about the kid with two dads. Ask any of the kids who heard the story, I bet the only thing they care about is whether it was a good story or a lame one. Even little kids know a good story when they hear it. Is the little boy in the story happy? Does he have an adventure? Do his parents take him to the zoo or the park? Does he go to school? Have a dog? Sometimes books that are meant to teach kids about a sensitive subject are just plain boring to kids. The part of the story that makes the parents squeamish, the two dads part, is just a detail, albeit an important detail, but perhaps not as important as the big dinosaur or the talking cat in the big hat.
When I was a child, my 3rd grade teacher read the Boxcar Children books to us. The books were about some kids who lived in a boxcar in the woods and had no parents at all and they survived very well and had very exciting adventures. (I can't imagine these stories being read to children in school today, people must think they are inappropriate now). I don't remember being particularly disturbed by the fact that they had to fend for themselves with no parents at all, I just loved the adventures! There are probably a lot of children whose family's are less than ideal, who wish they too, could live unafraid without grownups who are cruel. Despite growing up in traditional families, kids can still feel that their family is different for any number of reasons. I think kids are concerned that the characters in the story survive no matter what the situation, it makes them feel more secure about their own lives. If that kid does ok, then I might be ok too. Kids read all kinds of stories when they are young, some with one parent or two parents, or none. Cinderella and Hansel and Gretel had terrible parents, but these stories are considered classics, and the kids triumph over the neglectful grownups. The one with the two dads is just another story to children and they probably don't understand what the fuss is all about, especially if the parents in question are kind. If the story is good in their estimation, they'll ask to hear it again and again, if it isn't, they won't. End of story.
