Sue and Judy

Sue and Judy

Sue and Judy: Together since 1991

When my son Josh was in grade school I was fortunate to have a friend like Sue, who became one of his "Other Moms."  Before Judy came on the scene, Sue lived with her/our friend Margaret, and the two of them were my lifeline as a single mom.  They happily took Josh when I had a date or needed to be out of town and they showered him with love and attention, even took him camping.  

I am forever grateful to them for that and I know he is the man he is today in part, because they were and are in his life. 

I'll never forget when Sue met Judy, I think it must have been love at first sight, but Judy lived in Michigan so for the first year or two it was a long distance romance. It was only a matter of time, though, and Judy eventually made the move to St Paul and soon they had bought a house and they had dogs and cats, mortgages and home improvements, etc etc etc.

Don't let the white hair fool you,  I felt like I was with two teenagers when I took this photo  and heard Judy say "We'd like to get married." It also broke my heart just a little, to hear that, since they have been together for so long and that option just hasn't been available to them.  I'm hoping it won't be too long before she can say "We ARE married." 

Toni and Lisa

Toni and Lisa

Toni and Lisa-Married July 1998 

They were married at Robbinsdale UCC

Probably the most moving and meaningful 

wedding I have ever been witness to.

Laurie and David

Laurie and David

This is me and David--Married: October 1992

What started it all.....

This November in Minnesota we are being asked to vote on an amendment to our state's constitution that would declare marriage between "one man and one woman."  My husband and I oppose this ridiculous amendment for many reasons, not the least of which, it is just wrong to amend the constitution to take away rights, instead of affirm them.  We have many friends and relatives that are in long term, committed, same sex relationships and we find it hard to see any differences in their relationships and those of the 'hetero-sexed' couples we know.  We adamantly support their right to enjoy the same benefits of marriage that we do.  Not that this vote will ensure them these rights, it will just defeat the proposed amendment.

A few years ago, when this issue started heating up, and the idea that same sex marriage hurts traditional marriage was being tossed around, I tried to think of how that could possibly be true.  I could only come up with one scenario in which a same sex couple's relationship could possibly hurt me and my family, and that would be if one of those couples broke up: THAT would hurt me...not their being together, but their splitting apart is what would cause me any hurt or pain.  Fortunately, that has never happened.  Which leads me to another point,  it seems that divorce is rampant in the traditionally married community (I don't even want to mention the uber famous quickie marriage/divorce cases we have heard WAY too much about), and all the people that I know that are in same sex relationships have been so for YEARS...there's no major drama, no cheating, just a long and abiding commitment to one another. Not that they are perfect, they are normal...they argue about money and whose relatives they're going to see over the holidays, and whose turn it is to do the laundry...just like everyone else.

So, this is an issue that is near and dear to me.  It directly affects many people I love and I owe it to them to show them as much support as they have shown me over the years.  

Earlier this summer, the Twin Cities started turning 'orange' as the "Vote No" signs sponsored by Minnesotans United For All Families started popping up.  It was so encouraging,  and I was especially proud of our block, affectionately known as The Shire, when we sported 5 of those signs in our successive yards.  Then, about 2 weeks ago, we noticed that the sign in our neighbor's yard had disappeared.  Anne and Mike credited a blustery wind as being responsible, since the metal frame was still stuck firmly in the grass.   Just this Friday evening we realized our sign was missing, and also that of our next door neighbor, Mara.  We began to wonder if indeed it was a wind that had made off with Anne and Mike's sign.  So, now we were down from five to two.  At first, I was very angry.  Who would stoop so low?  Someone fearful and cowardly, to be sure.  I ranted a little on facebook, but I am tired of ranting, I am tired of listening to others rant, and I am tired of hearing myself rant, so I thought I'd follow a different course.  

Some time ago, I had an idea to make my own sign to show our support for same sex marriage and do it with a little whimsy and fun.  I want to believe it is more effective to try to make an argument using a little honey instead of a hammer, and I wanted to test the theory.  But our friend and neighbor Lisa, generously brought us an official "Vote No" sign, and I really loved the strong show of force we presented with our marching row of orange banners, so I put the idea away. But when our sign was stolen, I thought now I have to make my sign and hopefully draw MORE attention to the cause and make it less likely to be stolen.  

Phase I: I painted up some pickets left over from our fence project a few years ago in bright rainbow stripes,  added some little birds that I had created, made of salvaged pieces cut from a soffit border we had made at our cabin, gave them some wings made from aluminum cans, and I added a metal painted banner that declares that "Marriage is 4 all Love Birds." My husband and I assembled it and gave it a frame for support and it's going in the front yard.  With some stakes and cement pavers, I am hoping that it will remain safely in our yard till this election season is over and this amendment has been defeated!  

Phase II of our master plan will involve trying to get as many couples as we can to take their photo with the sign and then for them to upload the photo to their social media and try to reach as many folks as  possible.  I mean, really?  Who could deny the right to marry to Love Birds, right?  
So give me a shout here, on facebook, or at 4alllovebirds@gmail.com if you want to take a pic with the Birds!!!!

Stay tuned for updates and photos as they come in!